Learning How to Step Out of your Comfort Zone

Learning How to Step Out of your Comfort Zone

Go For It

If you want to do big things, you need to get out of your comfort zone…

What dream are you chasing? What do you see yourself doing five years from now? If you could wake up tomorrow and live your ideal life, what would that look like?

Have you given yourself time lately to sit and reflect on where you’re at in life right now so that you can prepare for the doors that God is waiting to open for you? Don’t let life pass you by. Being stagnant is dangerous.

You can either chase the life you want to live, or settle for the one you have.

Leave your comfort zone and you won’t believe what happens next…

When you have a dream, it is a message from God. Do not sleep on your own potential. There is a reason you have that vision. Take control and go after what you want. We can journal, create vision boards, speak positive affirmations, and pray all day long, but it’s our responsibility to execute and make things happen. Taking steps towards our goals can be exciting, we know that… but why doesn’t anyone talk about how uncomfortable, lonely, and scary those steps can be?

Truth is, people don’t like talking about their failures. It’s in those low moments, when the hope turns to doubt and the excitement turns to dread that people choose to give up and create a false narrative in their head that “it was never for them.” This mindset is what separates success from failure. Successful people don’t give up no matter hard things get. They don’t just throw in the flag when they feel a little discomfort. Learn to embrace those feelings. Let it sting, because it’s during these times that something beautiful is happening. You’re growing and preparing for the blessing that’s coming your way.

Could you image what life would be like if everything was perfect? Nothing but rainbows and butterflies. No tears. No stress… No growth. No excitement.

The thought sounds great at first, doesn’t it? But then after some thought, you realize how boring life would get quite quickly. Did you ever make a really big mistake and then been able to laugh about it later? Can you remember a time when you were feeling really low, but you had that one person in your life that gave you a shoulder to lean on, bringing you peace and comfort when you needed it the most?  Have you ever had your heart broken, leaving you feeling empty, alone, and hopeless and then boom… you unexpectedly meet that special someone?  

Many of the best moments in our lives come right after a hardship. Without these hard times we wouldn’t fully understand the value of all the good things in our life. If everything was perfect all the time we would have no incentives, no motivations, and no passions to ignite our souls and make life worth living. We need to feel these things although it may hurt.

When we choose to take that leap of faith and embark on our journeys to success (whatever that looks like to you), we’ll feel something similar. It will be a little scary and confusing, maybe a little lonely and sad, as we forgo old, familiar habits and welcome new ones, say goodbye to old friends and meet new ones, and close one chapter of our lives as we move on to the next.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth it, and there is no better feeling than being able to look back on a journey of many highs and lows and realizing that through it all, you ended up exactly where you’re supposed to be. If you want to experience the highs, you must be willing to endure the lows.

Take the risk and just do it. Stop overthinking and go after everything you want in life. You only get one life and you control the narrative. If you’re reading this right now, you’re alive which means God is giving you another opportunity to step into your purpose. Take advantage of this opportunity and make it happen. Growth does not happen in your comfort zone. If you feel uncomfortable, you’re probably doing something right.

This Can Be You

Society has taught us that success is measured by material things, but who else craves a life of fulfillment, peace, and happiness? When I’m 80 I don’t want to be that old grumpy lady who looks back on the life I lived and thinks, “Wow. That’s it? Well that sucks.” I want to be proud of all I’ve accomplished and instead think, “that was one helluva ride!” That’s what success looks like to me. Life is too short to be doing something every day that you don’t enjoy.

Take the leap of faith! Your dream life is very valid and very possible. Lakeia, Lauriel, and Kaylee, 3 of your everyday girls, decided to go for it and are now living a life they truly enjoy.

Lauriel Arkeah - @laurielarkeah (Virtual Assistant)

“As a brand-new virtual assistant, I had no idea how to begin. From having to manage creating content and reaching out to potential clients – it all felt like a giant monster hovering over me. I thought ‘maybe this is for those who are used to this kind of stuff, the more creative and confident folks.’ However, I quickly realized that we ALL start from somewhere, meaning that we’ve all had to learn. As long as you’re willing to step outside of your comfort zone, be willing to learn, and remain consistent – then YOU TOO can have a successful online business. There’s more than enough room for us all to win. Don’t let a limiting mindset stop you from creating the business of your dreams… Take it from me! I made 3x the income as a virtual assistant than my journalism degree would’ve brought in.”

Lakeia - @sinfulbeautybarllc (Esthetician/Lash Artist)

“Becoming an entrepreneur/lash artist has pushed me out of my comfort zone in so many ways I wasn’t prepared for. I’ve always been pretty shy and becoming an entrepreneur has forced me to literally put myself and my work out there! I’ve had to network with other women in the industry which is very intimidating when you are starting out as a beginner and they have their own salons. I’ve also learned how to deal with and resolve conflicts. Normally, I would call a manager and let them handle the dirty work, but having my own business I had to have those uncomfortable conversations with clients and vendors. Entrepreneurship has taught me to stop people pleasing, and to teach other people how to treat me and my business… Looking back I have NO regrets! Becoming an entrepreneur has allowed me to grow in ways I didn’t even realize I needed to grow in, and it happened very fast. It has been the most challenging and rewarding experience and I would do it the same all over again. Going from a stable government job to creating my own brand and income is something I am very proud of and will bet on myself and my vision any day! If I could give anyone advice that may be scared to take that leap of faith it would be to NEVER let anybody talk fears into your plans. Follow your vision, your intuition, and see it through. Never quit before you give yourself a chance.”

Kaylee - @kayleerclark (Soldier)

“Being in the military definitely helped me get out of my comfort zone and find myself because I was no longer in an environment with the same people with the same mentalities. I don’t regret joining at all. I think it has affected me more positively than negatively. There’s rough times and things that are stressful about it, but its provided me a lot of great things.”

You could be a college dropout like Lauriel, an unfulfilled government employee like Lakeia, a recent high school graduate with no idea what you want to do with your life yet like Kaylee, or you could be like Ky Lashaii, the 18-year-old girl who decided not to settle for a life she didn’t enjoy, so she started a business out of her home and then moved halfway across the country to pursue it. No matter where you’re at in life, it’s never too late to go after what you want. Your dream is never too big. You just need to believe in yourself enough to move out of your comfort zone and go for it.

Lakeia said it best, “NEVER let anybody talk fears into your plans.” If you want to be a lawyer, go be a lawyer. If you want to be an influencer, go be an influencer. If you want to be an entrepreneur, then go be one! 

Very Uncomfortable

It’s easier said than done, I know. Let’s just start with baby steps. Here are some ways that you can slowly ease out of your comfort zone until you feel ready to take the leap. Before you know it, you’ll be waking up living out the life you’ve always dreamt of, wondering, “how did I even get here?” and when you get there, I hope you encourage the next person to never settle because their dreams, too, are just a little discomfort away. We can all win.

Engage in Conversation with Strangers

One of the best practices to help you step out of your comfort zone is to engage in conversations with people you don’t know. This will help build your overall confidence and communication skills which are both important to have. The conversation can be about anything. Just start talking.  Ask questions. Get curious and seek information while building new connections. This is a great networking opportunity that can take you really far and set you apart from others. Studies have shown that generations X and Z struggle to hold simple conversations because of the advancing technology that they’ve grown up around. If you can speak well, you will stand out.

Pay close attention to your nonverbal communication and listening skills too, as they are equally important. It may even be useful to record yourself talking and taking note of your facial expressions and body language as you speak. It will feel weird and a bit uncomfortable to watch yourself on camera, but that’s the goal!

Take Solo Dates

I will forever vouch for solo dates! It is so therapeutic and allows you to get more comfortable spending time alone. It’s just you, your thoughts, and vibes. There will always be a time in your life where you feel a little lonely, but if you can normalize spending time alone with just yourself, you will realize that you really don’t need anyone else. It’s nice to have people in your corner, of course, but you never want to rely on others to be there because you could be setting yourself up for disappointment if they fall short.

Take yourself on a date! After the first time you will fall in love and want to do it more often. This time could be spent doing anything you enjoy. Go to brunch at a new restaurant you’ve been meaning to try out. Go get coffee at a cute little café and get some work done. Dress up and take pictures at a place with a nice view. Take a walk. Go on a picnic. I can go on and on! Spend quality time with yourself and learn everything you can about you. People will be looking, but their opinion never mattered. Life hack: you’re happier when you decide to stop caring about anything other people think about you. It’s a choice to care.

Learn a New Hobby

Learning something new is hard. You go through phases where you first feel excited and eager to learn, then you might get a little discouraged because you don’t know what the heck you’re doing. Next you’ll probably start to feel frustrated and want to give up because you just can’t seem to get it right, but just before giving up you try a little harder and start to see a slight shimmer of hope. Finally, you start to understand. You are learning and getting more comfortable, and eventually, with time and patience, you become a master of the skill.

This is a common pattern in life. You will go through these phases many times between now and when you’re old and wrinkly, which is why continuous learning is such a good thing. Learning a skill keeps your mind fresh and will help you to regulate your emotions and learn patience. Not everything will come easy, but with time, you will get to where you want to be.


Volunteering with different organizations is a great way to build professional relationships and interact with a variety of people. You are forced to work in a team to accomplish a common goal. Look beyond your own little bubble and try seeing the world from new perspectives. Volunteering will open your eyes to real world problems that encourage you to be creative and find solutions. You may discover new values that you didn’t know you had.

Enter a Pageant

This is the ultimate pro tip to getting out of your comfort zone! Joining a pageant challenges you to dig deep into who you are which, if you don’t fully know yourself, can be very uncomfortable. A lot of times we think we know who we are, but then when it’s time to step into that interview room and the first statement thrown at us is, “tell me about yourself,” we freeze up and don’t know what to say!

The same can be said for our confidence. A lot of us think that we are these strong, confident women, but when it’s time to put on a bathing suit and strut down a runway with hundreds of eyes focused on us, we naturally freak out a little bit. Preparing for a pageant encourages you to be your best self all around, physically and mentally so that your confidence will radiate from the inside out. All the connections you make are just a bonus. I recommend trying a pageant at least once in your life. Give it your all and I promise you, you will get so much out of it, with or without a crown.

Personally, I’ve landed an amazing modeling contract with one of the biggest agencies in the U.S. from being scouted during a pageant. I had never modeled before and it was never my intention to be a model, but this is a prime example that great things can happen when you find the courage to get out of your comfort zone and try something new. Life is full of surprises!

Switch Up Your Look

We love to get cute! How many times have you said you’re going to try that hairstyle and never did? Girl, try the style! Making slight changes to our everyday appearance, even if it’s temporary, can make us feel good. Make sure you give the new look a fair chance before judging. At first glance we may think we hate it but that’s usually because it’s different and we’re not used to it just yet.  

More long-term or permanent changes like a haircut or tattoo should be considered with more thought before deciding, but if it’s something you’ve been contemplating for a while, just do it! Sometimes making these changes feel like a “fresh start” or a “new you” which is exactly what might be needed to give you the motivation to make a move.

Face a Fear

Our comfort zone is described as “a psychological state in which a person feels at ease because they’re not being tested” (betterup.com). We like to feel in control! Challenge yourself and learn to put your faith in God. If you can trust God in that moment, then maybe you can learn to trust him with the plans of your life. Trust Him and live a life of peace knowing that you are always protected and right where you should be at all times. It takes a lot to trust in something you can’t see. It’s uncomfortable. But when things start falling into place for you and you’re living out your wildest dream, it will all make sense. I dare you to take the challenge. Face the fear. You will get through it and anything else life throws your way.

Say Yes

Stop finding excuses and go out with the girls. Go on the date and give that person a chance. Try the Escargot. Take the weekend trip. Just say yes! Even when you’re hesitant, say yes. Give everything in life a fair chance before forming an opinion or doing what you’re used to doing. Naturally we want to reject plans or turn down new foods because it’s not the norm, but life is more fun when it’s full of experiences. That’s how you create memories. Don’t be too afraid to live and learn.

You’re destined for great things. When life gets a little uncomfortable, keep going because your breakthrough is right around the corner.



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